Expert Author Susan Leigh
Self talk, whether it be positive or negative is one of the biggest factors to success or failure. We know in our personal dealings with other people that we are more drawn to a positive, dynamic person than we are to someone who seems weary and down-trodden.
Our personal levels of self-confidence and self-esteem radiate from us in our interactions with others. The biggest percentage of any communications is non-verbal. Our body language, stance, breathing, mood all provide information and cues to other people and they pick up on those, whether they realise it or not.
Using statements and affirmations are powerful ways of influencing how we think and feel about ourselves and subsequently, how we come across to others. By telling ourselves something we can make it so.
- Affirmations are statements about our hopes, dreams and aspirations that are positively phrased and are in the present tense. By making them plausible and realistic we can feel good about what we are saying. We enable ourselves to see how those words become actions with good results, so becoming clearer about the direction that we are desirous of taking. Those words provide a positive focus in our lives.
- Focussing the mind on clear goals and objectives enables us to strip out distractions or objections. Repeating those statements as achievable and achieved enables them to become real to us, rather than a fantasy or desirable notion.
- When we present a more confident and focussed image to others they respond to that persona. They treat us in a more positive, respectful way. The image that we are creating on the inside by talking to ourselves positively, repeating important phrases, becomes projected through the image we communicate to the outside world.
- It is important to present ourselves as the person we want to be. It may feel strange or artificial at first but often, because it is what we want and desire, any awkwardness abates as the positive, confident and successful aspects become more a part of us and who we are.
- Interestingly, affirmations can work when they are negative or harmful too. So feeling despondent about our chances of meeting a new partner, losing weight, getting a job are all going to influence the likely end result. We radiate that negative energy and others pick up on that too.
- Our bodies also pick up on any negative phrases, words and mindset that we have. So saying things like 'I'm gutted', 'It's doing my head in', 'I'm sick to my stomach', or 'I'm irritated' can be picked up by our bodies and turned into symptoms of the stressful state that we find ourselves in. This compounds any problems and can start to create a negative and vicious cycle.
Being aware of the power of how we talk to ourselves is the key to changing any negative patterns and ensuring that we treat ourselves with respect and kindness. Many of us talk to ourselves more harshly than we ever would to another person. Being aware of the power of words, for good or bad, can help us to ensure that we are careful to influence ourselves in a positive way, so benefitting our health and our chances of future success.